Sometimes I wonder, having finished Anne with an E now and admiring in retrospect what wonderful characters and story L.M. Montgomery has created in the world of Anne of Green Gables, how much my life could have turned out differently had I known and loved this novel in my childhood. Perhaps, I would have found myself relating to this orphan girl as she tried to find her place in this world, looking for a place to belong and be accepted as she is, in the company of people she can truly call “home”. Perhaps, the times I felt alone and misunderstood growing up would not have been as lonesome with a ‘bosom friend’ like her. And I would have probably embraced the world around me with wide-eyed wonder and excitement instead of fear, worn my heart on my sleeves and expressed myself better instead of hiding my heart in a casket after getting hurt.
Perhaps, I would not have lost my temper and poured that coke on my teasing classmate had I learned from Anne’s fiery temper and what happens when you bottle up your feelings until you explode. Perhaps, I would not have envied my classmates in school as much and accepted myself truly for who I am, anime freak as I was, freckles and all.
Perhaps, I would not have felt as hurt and anguished over being judged and misunderstood for my talkativeness with a kindred spirit like her, or that I would have learned to control my tongue better early on. Perhaps, I would have found an ally in her when I thought the world had turned its back against me.
Perhaps, I would have learned from her that going rogue is not the best strategy in getting a team/organization/society to change for better, then I would have been able to control my emotions and not escalate to our offshore top management without going through my department manager first. Perhaps, I would not have been relieved of my role because of that, or at least felt less ostracized and devastated.
Perhaps, I would have found my life’s passions earlier and had even more dreams nurtured through the years—eyes awakened to the pain and beauty of the world around me, fully alive in spirit and confident that I can do something to make a change and make the world a better place in my own way. Perhaps, I would have volunteered more, discovered the world more. Or even, practically speaking, taken the girl scouts more seriously and not only learned survival skills but also discovered how beautiful the stars, skies, and nature are early on in my life.
Perhaps I would have discovered earlier that I too had a gift and love for words, and expressed myself more in writing and honed it better. Perhaps, my blog would still be alive. 😆
But then again perhaps, life had to run its course before I could truly love this timeless classic. That without all these trials, adventures and misadventures that transpired in my life with all its weight and light, joy and sorrow, my heart and soul would not have as much depth, and I would not have appreciated the show and its characters for its beauty and splendor. I would not be in the state of mind and heart where I can appreciate a story like this had I even read it back then. Most importantly, had life not run its course the way it did, I would not have found God the way I did, and I would not be the person that I am today.
“But I came to understand that I was the same person the whole time. I’m loved now, but when I wasn’t it didn’t mean I wasn’t worthy of it.”
Anne Shirley
