I have officially resigned from Walmart Japan/Seiyu effective September 30, and I have rendered my last day last Friday. It was such a bittersweet day (or bittersweet week!), as I get to talk to people like never before, with the thought of saying goodbye and reminiscing the fond memories we had together since I joined the company last April of 2020. Allow me to indulge a bit and walk down memory lane, as well as share lessons I learned along the way.
Prior to joining Walmart Japan, I have mostly worked for big Japanese SIer companies, so I was really excited at the thought of working for a company in the Retail industry, with its own business (not tech as its core business) and IT supporting the business instead of the typical outsourcing/service-provider model I was used to. For years I dreamed of working for a multinational company, a company I can really call my own, with its own consumer products, where I can be a brand ambassador of sorts. So when this opportunity came, I thought wow, what a blessing from the Heavens! Dreams do come true!! Because it was not just any Retail company too, it’s under THE Retail giant Walmart!! I thought it was too good to be true that I did not even question the role I will have. Whatever it is, I will take it, I thought. I woke up from the dream not long after when reality hit me.
I realize how naive I was coming in without any understanding of what it takes to work in such an industry. Not to mention how I was full of myself thinking my skillset and previous experience is readily transferrable and can be useful to the company. I was confident that I can contribute well to the company, which is not so bad in itself, except I realize on hindsight I did not really know what I got into in the first place. Then I ultimately lost myself in the process as I even lost sight of the long-term goal I had supposedly when I joined the company—to start out as a QA but move up to being a Business Analyst.
A number of organizational changes happened in the company since I joined, brought about by internal and external factors. These shifts became my litmus test revealing to me what my inner work compass is (what drives me, intrinsically), or rather the lack thereof. Without that inner compass, it can be so easy to be swayed by external factors and be demotivated at work. Which is exactly what happened to me.
Eventually, when I found myself wide awake, the gap between where I thought I wanted to be and where I am was too great, things I thought I should have done could no longer be made up for, so much so that there was no other way for me but to start anew somewhere else. It’s not like I committed any crimes or anything owing debt that need to be paid for. In fact I did what I can to my utmost effort, ensuring not to add any more technical debt but to reduce it, going beyond what is expected of me as a newcomer. I just ended up so lost, when I caught myself awake… lost in the middle of the vast ocean, with every effort to swim making me sink deeper. Hence, hard of a decision as it was with the people I will leave behind, I had to give up and let myself go. Because sometimes in life, we need to learn to give up too 🙂
Grateful to Walmart Japan/Seiyu for all the opportunities and especially the trust given to me despite being a newbie. I eventually realized how I was still far too inexperienced to fill-in the expectations given me, but that heightened my self-awareness and truly humbled me in the process. This whole journey pushed me beyond my limits and comfort zone, made me discover a side of myself I had never known, and truly made me grow as a person in more ways than one. Thankful for all the leaders, colleagues and sempais who eventually became my allies and “safe zone”, my source of support and encouragement when I needed it most. Thank you, thank you.
