“All battles are first won or lost, in the mind”
-Joan of Arc
This cannot be more true in my experience the past days adjusting to my new work. I’m a newbie in the company, don’t know much about the ins and outs yet, especially connecting to the right set of people to get information that I need to do my job well (yet). I have no formal experience dealing with clients directly, especially not as early as in the proposal phase (and especially doing the proposal), yet here I am involved in this big project. I have a mentor assigned to me but I have to approach him more to get input and feedback. Then I joined a meeting with the client, then another with external partner. I was asked to explain the rough plan I did that lacked final review and feedback. I was not confident I understood the discussion and conclusion very well.
In each and every circumstance I was thrown in this week, exaggerated as it may sound, it feels like I was thrown into the lions’ den. Ok fine that’s an exaggeration because there are no lions attacking me. Let’s say thrown into the sea with a little paddle board. And I could easily give in to fear and intimidation (even if they are all in my mind), see the challenges instead of the opportunities, and especially the “way out” that God actually has prepared here—sempais who I can easily approach and ask advice for, batchmates who are warm and easy to get along with and talk to, venues in the company to ask and also ask for help, and my mentor even if I had to approach him, is very open and accommodating. I can choose to play a victim, or shoo away these negative thoughts and focus on what I can do and use the help hotlines available; Focus on being honest to myself and others. Ask if I don’t know. Ask help if I need. Ask around. Share notes I made for the meeting even if I’m not confident, to confirm whether I understood things well or misunderstood something. (I just did today)
To each and every “temptation” to think the battle is lost and not fight forward, we can always always choose to fight than take flight—Take steps of courage and not be afraid to be vulnerable, rather than hiding, pretending to know things when I really don’t. How simple life is supposed to be, when we stop deceiving ourselves and others. When we are honest, and not afraid to open up what we can/cannot do, and open ourselves to being scrutinized and accept feedback. How simple this is supposed to be! But our heart is very deceitful. And fear cripples our heart and skews our views, and makes us prone to giving in to unhealthy compromises. Let’s be very vigilant. Do not give the enemy a seat at your table.
“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”
2 Corinthians 10:5
